First week in Korea
Hi ok so-- this is my first blog post! Decided to start fresh and blog my time here in Korea.
Why?
Journaling is good but sometimes my hand hurts and I lose my thoughts in the act of writing itself. Typing is faster and I've not done this before so why not. This is very casual and probably my jumbled thoughts plastered on here most times so! no judging my writing and just enjoy.
Well
I've been here a week so far; I got here on.. January 30th? Tuesday-- and today is February 8th 2018 Friday. BUT it feels like I have been here for over a month bc so much has gone on both good and bad.
Recently I've seen a lot of disclaimers from various users claiming that social media such as, and mainly, Instagram feature only the highlights of life-- which I totally would like to put out there first. Probably you've seen pictures of aesthetic looking desserts and gucci looking food and cute places and/or even people I've been meeting-- which are all fun and good but. there also exist the bad experiences that do not make an appearance on social media.
So
Let me start from the beginning and let you in on the raw. I rode Korean Air business class here and let. me. tell. you. Once you ride business you can't go back to economy. Like, once you start using double eyelid glue you can't go out without it? (More on that later). But anywho, it was NICE. You get your own little cubicle with a seat that goes down 180 degrees and you get this menu that includes a boujee 5 course meal for lunch and dinner-- all on a tablecloth and real plates with real utensils--and a huge screen in front of you and flight attendants who are over the top nice to you. I was happy sappy arriving at the Incheon international airport and my aunt and uncle were waiting for me.
Maybe this is me being ungrateful but.
I mean I totally could've taken the subway to my aunt's house all smooth and fast but no my uncle came to pick me up with his huge work van. And ok. No one really drives in Korea cause the traffic is terrible and it's just way more efficient to use some other form of transportation so as you could probably guess it took over an hour to get home as opposed to like a 30 min subway ride and of course I was carsick and all bc I just get carsick really easily.
The thing is...
My uncle doesn't work. Which is why he had the time to come pick me up. He does some construction job or something but he goes out like once every 3 weeks when there's a job but other than that he stays home all day every day just watching TV. Eat, TV, sleep. Repeat. That is his life. My aunt is a pastor.
Consequently,
They are quite (very) poor and do not live in an apartment like the typical Korean but live in this tiny little house in a villa sort of thing. The entire house is probably the size of my family room.
Anywho
When I arrive, it's FREEZING. I'm literally dying in my hoodie and pajamas pants under a blanket shivering and furiously katalking my mom complaining how I'm dying. Next, I go in the shower to renew rejuvenate refresh in the hot water-- I really love showers btw (after turning on the boiler of course cause you have to do that here) but let me tell you that was one of the most traumatic moments of my life.
1. The air was below freezing.
2. The water was lukewarm.
= the water turns cold when it reaches my body from the shower head.
I look down at my arm and it is dotted with goosebumps and every single hair is standing up.
I got out asap.
My cousin Minjeong was supposed to lend me her room but she's a senior in college so she's really busy and didn't clean her room so I slept with my aunt in the master bedroom (my uncle sleeps outside with the TV). The only thing is, my aunt goes to early dawn service at 4am every day so she goes to sleep at like 9pm. So i did too. Cause you know I can't really leave the lights on even tho she says I can.
How *pause* ever,
She snored so loudly I woke up like 10 times and.. every time I woke up I turned on girl's generation 'GEE' really loudly for a couple seconds-- just enough for her to slightly wake up and stop snoring, but not all the way wake up you know. 10x. And just when I thought I could sleep a lil, she woke up, turned the light on, and BLOW DRIED HER HAIR. what is this nonsense.
I imagined Kayla in her air bnb hostel thing and legit considered moving out to where she was. What stopped me tho was: my aunt was making me food. I didn't wanna eat out every single meal and honestly I really like home food: rice and side dishes. It's the same everyday mostly, but that's what I like.
So that was my living situation when I first arrived in the motherland.
The next day or so I went out, cause I figured anywhere would be less freezing than home so I went to explore Itaewon with Kayla. Riding the subway by myself was a little scary at first. My aunt had a Tmoney card ready for me with money already loaded in it so that made things a bit easier. But literally all Koreans look so mean I swear and they all mind their own business and just go about their city lives so I had a little defense system set up inside me. But with time it became easier and I sort of got used to the norm.
The good thing is, the subway system here is really well-set up and clean and just great in general so it's easy to get around. I just use Google maps and it shows you every step of the way. So we met at the Itaewon station and and ate lunch at this restaurant called Busan Galbi. We ate some seasoned galbi--was 꿀맛 (honey tasting) and 냉면 (cold noodles). We walked around the city and took cute pics at the line store and then went to the Dragon Hill Spa in Yongsan. It was only 12,000 won!
We went into some really hot rooms,
sweated our butts off,
but had some interesting convos,
about boys mostly,
went into the ice room,
came out into the main room,
drank some shikhye (some hella good sweet rice drink),
went into the bathing area-- look we had to strip in front of each other and all these other females and go wash up up up. It was fine tho and we established that we had similar size boobs.
That was a fun day.
But I forgot to write before this entire episode of [Itaewon and the spa] that the day before,
I went to IVI 성형외과 which is the plastic surgery hospital I got my double eyelid surgery at this past summer with my cousin on my dad's side.
!!Attention!! This was the whole reason I came to Korea so early-- I wasn't planning on coming till mid Feb cause we move into our dorms on Feb 22.
So all was good until January, when all of a sudden my right eye became super irritated and I felt something scratching my eye and it became all red swollen and teary agh. So I went to Azar eye institute and they discovered a suture that came out inside my eyelid and was poking my eyeball....and they claimed that they had to surgically remove it and told us the earliest date was like 20 days after.
Of course I wasn't about to wait that long cause the pain in my eye was PRETTY BAD so I called in the next day and made a whole scene about how I need this taken care of right away and so they told me to come into a different location slightly further away. But then it snowed like 2 feet that night so everything closed down.
So
I made my mom flip open my eyelid and pull the thing out. But it wouldn't come out. So I held my lip flipped up while she held the suture with tweezers and cut it off with scissors. It bled and all and the whole process probably was not safe but I'm alive now. It would've been nice if that was the end of that but..
I felt something else there too. I went to the eye doctor once they reopened but they said it was just the scar bothering me. But it was not. Literally I could not live a normal life cause it was bothering me and stressing me. Which brings me to why I told this wholes story-- I came early to get this taken care of.
So yeah back to the present: my cousin and I went and my cousin is kinda a slut if you put it a bad way-- she's 30 and in the fervor of her youth and is really pretty and basically she was mad that all of this happened and instead of trying to take care of the problem (get rid of the thing bothering my eye) she just yelled at them and recorded them and demanded a refund along with my plane ticket fees. They in turn yelled back and said nothing went wrong with the surgery and that it's not their fault.
This is how Korea is. The plastic surgery culture is immense. If you go to Gangnam, everywhere you look you will see a plastic surgery hospital. No joke. If I closed my eyes and spun around and opened them, I would see one. Or more at once. 10/10 times. It's a sad culture all in all-- too much of the focus is on the looks. Not only does one need it to survive socially in Korea, but one needs it to survive financially too. The first thing they look at is appearance in job interviews. The rise of hallyu and kpop is only adding to the hype.
The stats show that 1 in 3 women between the age of 19 and 29 have gone under the knife. Double eyelid surgery? Rhinoplasty? It's nothing. It's not even considered surgery here-- rather, they're called "cosmetic procedures". Korea is rapidly rising with companies such as Samsung and has the most up to date technology. What's scary is that with that they perform things like jaw reduction surgery which costs like tens of thousands of dollars. No wonder Korea is know for "medical tourism".
I fell into that culture too. Many people want to hide the fact that they got plastic surgery but I don't really feel the need to. Probably because it's such a minor and common surgery to enhance the eyes but also I don't think that it's particularly bad, especially when it can boost one's confidence and it's done and over with.
What I want to say though,
is that plastic surgery is just such a big part of Korea that even if the hospital did something wrong and they don't admit it, there's nothing you can do. You can take it to law but the hospital will win. You could win, but you will get barely any money from it. And money isn't even the issue. It's your body. That's how Korea is. There are many aspects that are corrupt or something idk-- which is why my parents ultimately decided to live in the states and also which is why despite the advancements of Korea, it still stays weak compared to the U.S. or China for example.. but also but of it's size of course. It's tiny.
So, my cousin got mad in the process and stormed outta there.
I was very worried of course and was considering just getting this fixed somewhere else. But I didn't trust anywhere else and just wanted to get this one thing done and so my mom called in and approached them in a more humane way. Yeah. So they came back really nicely and apologized for what had happened and told her that they would take care of the problem. AND, since they were sorry, they would do my skincare for free as service.
So that is why I could enjoy the day with the spa and all.
The next day, I went in and they tried to tell me that I was being sensitive. But bro. There def was something in my eye that I felt every time I blinked and so ultimately they decided to cut it again and pull out the internal that could be potentially irritating me. While they were at it, they also redid my other eye that had two lines in the inner corner (prob cause they messed up the first time). They put me to sleep and everything and I went through all that again I tell you smh.
BUT THEN after the surgery I felt something scratching my LEFT EYE now, idk what they did so I was super duper wuper stressed for a long time and actually could not function bc they said they had taken all that could potentially be bothering me out and that they was nothing else they could do and I was having these thoughts like what if no doctor in the world can fix this like what if I have to do another revision surgery and it won't even get fixed-- all these thoughts that satan was throwing at me that was incarcerating me inside myself and really just stressing me beyond control.
On top of that
My left eye was blurry (from normal post-operative complications) so I was really having a hard time. I complained to like everyone, esp my mom and people were prob getting tired but I was really really worried if you haven't gotten the hint yet. I was like this for a couple days until enough advice from my friends and especially mom and prayer and my personal will that I decided that I could not let this control my life and that I WOULD NOT STRESS ABOUT THIS ANY FURTHER because there is nothing I can do at this moment. I pushed satan away in Jesus name and hung onto God for assurance and power to control myself and stay above because He has already won.
And from then on
I felt so at peace. Despite my eye problem, I felt happy and able to enjoy life without the problem weighing me down. I honestly did not think I could escape from the worry and stress-- no matter how many people told me not to worry, that the bible says not to worry 365 times, that God will take care of it, that Korea has so much technology and skill, that everything will be okay, that time will heal, just to wait it out, I simply could not. I tried to do everything with my own power. I looked up which hospitals could take of this, what I should do, etc. But at one point I just laid everything down and looked only to God. It wasn't sudden. It took a couple hours? Half a day? A day? Not sure but it felt like forever but at one point I was able to let it all go-- my eye wasn't magically better, but I was able be better despite it. If not God, then this would not have been possible.
Oh BTW,
shout to Kayla for waiting for me at the hospital for like 5 hrs.. this includes the waiting time, the surgery time, and the skin care time that was the service..
-the skincare was them just popping ALL of my pimples it was terrible gah apparently there's a laser thing you have to do but I honestly just was like no thanks pls
Also shoutout to all my friends in America who listened to me rant and complain and just really encouraged me..I think God placed just the right people in my life although I lack a lot and don't know how to appreciate it all
I haven't personally met God yet. I've been a Christian for most of my life, have done mission, have experienced the Holy Spirit and bear fruits and have gifts of the Holy Spirit. However, I cannot say I have had a personal encounter with God himself. But today actually I met with someone (more on that later) who told me the encounter can be a one time experience in which the person is just completely flipped inside out but it can also be a gradual many experiences. I am looking forward to that sort of meeting with God soon but this experience I can truly say that God has helped me overcome.
Sometimes I think:
God is punishing me for getting plastic surgery. For altering the body that he made in his perfect image, the body that isn't even mine but God's holy temple. But I also think God is growing me. Making me into a more mature Christian. Rescuing me from perhaps even eviler (is that a word?) sin.
1. Growing me
- building me up to be able to be happy in unhappy situations. Before, I never understood how one could truly be happy when there is some problem going on. Like in history or wars or such you hear of how people are in devastating situations but yet they find happiness and peace..yeah I only heard stories but never have I ever really understood. Up until now I have never had any hardships that I had to overcome and be happy over. The pastor this past Sunday said this and although it was a general message, I pertained to me: she said God has only given you good until now. It's okay that there is something not good. Through this God showed me that it is indeed possible to prevail over unhappiness, and truly find refuge in God because honestly he has won it all already we don't have to worry. Like seriously.
2. Rescuing me?
-I think I was way to excited to come to Korea. I feel like if I didn't have this one thing to worry about, I would be playing like I was invincible. Living like I had 9 lives. Committing greater sins, thinking it's okay to sin because when will God ever punish me? Going out and spending lavishly, drinking too much, you know, enjoying the worldly things.
Right now the blurriness has gone away so I am definitely better. But about what I feel in my eyes, only time can tell. It's too early post surgery to decide for certain my condition, but I leave it in God's hands to heal and take care of everything.
So,
I have been able to enjoy life at a moderate and healthy pace since. Let me settle the living condition first though, since it has gotten a lot better:
-My cousin has finally given me her room so I have my personal space to myself which means:
no more snoring
sleeping/waking up when I want to
lots more space
-I figured out the shower so I can have hot water throughout my entire shower
-my aunt switched my electronic heating blanket pad thing (정기장판) to a hotter one so I'm not that cold, especially when I'm under the blanket
-my aunt gave me her really pretty padding jacket so I'm warm whenever I leave with that on
I think that wherever you go, whatever the condition is, you adapt.
The problem is that I am too fast to complain at the beginning during the process of adaption.
I am so thankful that I can stay here for free, that I can eat home food, and have the company when I want it, and privacy when I need it.
The best part though is:
My mom asked my aunt to find me a church to attend while I'm in Korea. So she prayed about it and one called 빛의 자녀들 교회 (children of the light church) was what came to mind. This church is a baptist church but it is very very 뜨거워 (uhhh hot? like fervent, God really works in there, there are gifts of the holy spirit given to majority)...
The pastor is a woman pastor but she met God so vividly in her 20's and she has a calling for bringing each and every person, especially children and adolescents to God. Like completely and fully. Her soul is open and she communicates openly with God every day. When she prays over people she sees wide open everything about that person, spiritually of course (not like little details like mind reading or whatever you may be thinking haha). Every newcomer, they hold onto and really work so that one soul is saved for sure and that he/she can help others. I went last Sunday and the service was very good. The message is good.
I thought to myself,
wow, this is the ideal church that I have been looking for. I am so excited for what God has in store. I have never experienced anything like this before. The newcomers were guided after the service prayed for and connected to people. So an unni named 서인 katalks me letting me know all the deets and events that I should go to and tomorrow there is a 성령충만 새신자 목장예배. It's a holy spirit experiencing? (translation is kinda difficult) but yeah for newcomers for each of their respective "cells" or like family group things. There apparently, obviously probably while everyone is praying loudly out loud, the pastor anoints and prayers over each individual and there gifts of the holy spirit just erupt and people encounter God. Anointing is really important in my opinion, especially on the head because when I received the gift of tongues it was right as the pastor placed his hands on my hand and prayed.
Things like this may cause non believers or christians who hold back a little to say that this is cult-like or not right, as they often do to pentecostal churches but really this is an upright church drenched with the holy spirit and led by God. It is on a totally different scale from my church back at home. Also, my entire church at home is about 200 members. Here, there are just 200 college students.
But tonight,
the unni wanted to have dinner with the vice pastor (man) for the college with me and Kayla. Kayla couldn't make it so it was just the three of us. We ate at a really good restaurant in Sinchon and then went to a cafe for dessert. We ate a mango waffle dessert thing that was good! and also a green tea latte that kinda made me feel sick afterward but anyway
At first we started off with just small talk cause you know we are strangers at this point. I honestly though the vice pastor was kinda antisocial lol and mean but as we progressed into the convo and started going deeper and deeper he was wonderful and we talked a long time about God and our walks all past present and future.
I really felt comfortable and enjoyed the night. I honestly think that there is reason that God sent me to Korea at this point in time and although we cannot know exactly what God has in mind, we can predict that he has something greater than we can imagine planned for us and I take this time in Korea to be one that he uses to transform me completely. I am beyond excited to immerse myself deep into that church and grow, experience, and change through the word, QTs, people my age who are going the same path, and leaders to guide me spiritually.
I am so so thankful for all the good and the bad in my life and just the fact that I am a child of God and He isn't letting me be, but disciplining me and watering me.
ANYWAY
Today I registered for classes.
I'm taking hopefully
1. Intensive Korean Language (There are 6 levels hopefully I'm in the upper latter)
2. North Korean Politics and Society
3. Modern Society and Psychology
4. Intro to Korean studies-- which is a course that outlines the history, religion, and culture; from early shamanism to Japanese colonialism to the modern Korean wave.
I still have two weeks until move in so I'll try to keep this updated!
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading!
But more importantly, thanks to myself right now from my future self because I think that rather than listing mere things that happened or things that I did, the feelings and thoughts I got from the experiences are where da real meat is. Later on when I look back on this I hope to have left a good account of my experiences.
P.S. I actually wrote this entire thing in one sitting so there may be errors and typos and things that do not make sense or things that are left out (bc like the disclaimer at the beginning said, truly I tell you, this cannot be a full description of everything although I did leave a lot hehe) or things that are overexplained butt one cannot be perfect.
Also it's 2:30am and I have to wake up early tomorrow to go get my stitches removed and hang with Kayla in Sinsadong/garosugil then go to church for the service previously mentioned so I should sleep now.
It feels weird to actually end this after writing so much but... until next time!!
-Hyunji
Why?
Journaling is good but sometimes my hand hurts and I lose my thoughts in the act of writing itself. Typing is faster and I've not done this before so why not. This is very casual and probably my jumbled thoughts plastered on here most times so! no judging my writing and just enjoy.
Well
I've been here a week so far; I got here on.. January 30th? Tuesday-- and today is February 8th 2018 Friday. BUT it feels like I have been here for over a month bc so much has gone on both good and bad.
Recently I've seen a lot of disclaimers from various users claiming that social media such as, and mainly, Instagram feature only the highlights of life-- which I totally would like to put out there first. Probably you've seen pictures of aesthetic looking desserts and gucci looking food and cute places and/or even people I've been meeting-- which are all fun and good but. there also exist the bad experiences that do not make an appearance on social media.
So
Let me start from the beginning and let you in on the raw. I rode Korean Air business class here and let. me. tell. you. Once you ride business you can't go back to economy. Like, once you start using double eyelid glue you can't go out without it? (More on that later). But anywho, it was NICE. You get your own little cubicle with a seat that goes down 180 degrees and you get this menu that includes a boujee 5 course meal for lunch and dinner-- all on a tablecloth and real plates with real utensils--and a huge screen in front of you and flight attendants who are over the top nice to you. I was happy sappy arriving at the Incheon international airport and my aunt and uncle were waiting for me.
Maybe this is me being ungrateful but.
I mean I totally could've taken the subway to my aunt's house all smooth and fast but no my uncle came to pick me up with his huge work van. And ok. No one really drives in Korea cause the traffic is terrible and it's just way more efficient to use some other form of transportation so as you could probably guess it took over an hour to get home as opposed to like a 30 min subway ride and of course I was carsick and all bc I just get carsick really easily.
The thing is...
My uncle doesn't work. Which is why he had the time to come pick me up. He does some construction job or something but he goes out like once every 3 weeks when there's a job but other than that he stays home all day every day just watching TV. Eat, TV, sleep. Repeat. That is his life. My aunt is a pastor.
Consequently,
They are quite (very) poor and do not live in an apartment like the typical Korean but live in this tiny little house in a villa sort of thing. The entire house is probably the size of my family room.
Anywho
When I arrive, it's FREEZING. I'm literally dying in my hoodie and pajamas pants under a blanket shivering and furiously katalking my mom complaining how I'm dying. Next, I go in the shower to renew rejuvenate refresh in the hot water-- I really love showers btw (after turning on the boiler of course cause you have to do that here) but let me tell you that was one of the most traumatic moments of my life.
1. The air was below freezing.
2. The water was lukewarm.
= the water turns cold when it reaches my body from the shower head.
I look down at my arm and it is dotted with goosebumps and every single hair is standing up.
I got out asap.
My cousin Minjeong was supposed to lend me her room but she's a senior in college so she's really busy and didn't clean her room so I slept with my aunt in the master bedroom (my uncle sleeps outside with the TV). The only thing is, my aunt goes to early dawn service at 4am every day so she goes to sleep at like 9pm. So i did too. Cause you know I can't really leave the lights on even tho she says I can.
How *pause* ever,
She snored so loudly I woke up like 10 times and.. every time I woke up I turned on girl's generation 'GEE' really loudly for a couple seconds-- just enough for her to slightly wake up and stop snoring, but not all the way wake up you know. 10x. And just when I thought I could sleep a lil, she woke up, turned the light on, and BLOW DRIED HER HAIR. what is this nonsense.
I imagined Kayla in her air bnb hostel thing and legit considered moving out to where she was. What stopped me tho was: my aunt was making me food. I didn't wanna eat out every single meal and honestly I really like home food: rice and side dishes. It's the same everyday mostly, but that's what I like.
So that was my living situation when I first arrived in the motherland.
The next day or so I went out, cause I figured anywhere would be less freezing than home so I went to explore Itaewon with Kayla. Riding the subway by myself was a little scary at first. My aunt had a Tmoney card ready for me with money already loaded in it so that made things a bit easier. But literally all Koreans look so mean I swear and they all mind their own business and just go about their city lives so I had a little defense system set up inside me. But with time it became easier and I sort of got used to the norm.
The good thing is, the subway system here is really well-set up and clean and just great in general so it's easy to get around. I just use Google maps and it shows you every step of the way. So we met at the Itaewon station and and ate lunch at this restaurant called Busan Galbi. We ate some seasoned galbi--was 꿀맛 (honey tasting) and 냉면 (cold noodles). We walked around the city and took cute pics at the line store and then went to the Dragon Hill Spa in Yongsan. It was only 12,000 won!
We went into some really hot rooms,
sweated our butts off,
but had some interesting convos,
about boys mostly,
went into the ice room,
came out into the main room,
drank some shikhye (some hella good sweet rice drink),
went into the bathing area-- look we had to strip in front of each other and all these other females and go wash up up up. It was fine tho and we established that we had similar size boobs.
That was a fun day.
But I forgot to write before this entire episode of [Itaewon and the spa] that the day before,
I went to IVI 성형외과 which is the plastic surgery hospital I got my double eyelid surgery at this past summer with my cousin on my dad's side.
!!Attention!! This was the whole reason I came to Korea so early-- I wasn't planning on coming till mid Feb cause we move into our dorms on Feb 22.
So all was good until January, when all of a sudden my right eye became super irritated and I felt something scratching my eye and it became all red swollen and teary agh. So I went to Azar eye institute and they discovered a suture that came out inside my eyelid and was poking my eyeball....and they claimed that they had to surgically remove it and told us the earliest date was like 20 days after.
Of course I wasn't about to wait that long cause the pain in my eye was PRETTY BAD so I called in the next day and made a whole scene about how I need this taken care of right away and so they told me to come into a different location slightly further away. But then it snowed like 2 feet that night so everything closed down.
So
I made my mom flip open my eyelid and pull the thing out. But it wouldn't come out. So I held my lip flipped up while she held the suture with tweezers and cut it off with scissors. It bled and all and the whole process probably was not safe but I'm alive now. It would've been nice if that was the end of that but..
I felt something else there too. I went to the eye doctor once they reopened but they said it was just the scar bothering me. But it was not. Literally I could not live a normal life cause it was bothering me and stressing me. Which brings me to why I told this wholes story-- I came early to get this taken care of.
So yeah back to the present: my cousin and I went and my cousin is kinda a slut if you put it a bad way-- she's 30 and in the fervor of her youth and is really pretty and basically she was mad that all of this happened and instead of trying to take care of the problem (get rid of the thing bothering my eye) she just yelled at them and recorded them and demanded a refund along with my plane ticket fees. They in turn yelled back and said nothing went wrong with the surgery and that it's not their fault.
This is how Korea is. The plastic surgery culture is immense. If you go to Gangnam, everywhere you look you will see a plastic surgery hospital. No joke. If I closed my eyes and spun around and opened them, I would see one. Or more at once. 10/10 times. It's a sad culture all in all-- too much of the focus is on the looks. Not only does one need it to survive socially in Korea, but one needs it to survive financially too. The first thing they look at is appearance in job interviews. The rise of hallyu and kpop is only adding to the hype.
The stats show that 1 in 3 women between the age of 19 and 29 have gone under the knife. Double eyelid surgery? Rhinoplasty? It's nothing. It's not even considered surgery here-- rather, they're called "cosmetic procedures". Korea is rapidly rising with companies such as Samsung and has the most up to date technology. What's scary is that with that they perform things like jaw reduction surgery which costs like tens of thousands of dollars. No wonder Korea is know for "medical tourism".
I fell into that culture too. Many people want to hide the fact that they got plastic surgery but I don't really feel the need to. Probably because it's such a minor and common surgery to enhance the eyes but also I don't think that it's particularly bad, especially when it can boost one's confidence and it's done and over with.
What I want to say though,
is that plastic surgery is just such a big part of Korea that even if the hospital did something wrong and they don't admit it, there's nothing you can do. You can take it to law but the hospital will win. You could win, but you will get barely any money from it. And money isn't even the issue. It's your body. That's how Korea is. There are many aspects that are corrupt or something idk-- which is why my parents ultimately decided to live in the states and also which is why despite the advancements of Korea, it still stays weak compared to the U.S. or China for example.. but also but of it's size of course. It's tiny.
So, my cousin got mad in the process and stormed outta there.
I was very worried of course and was considering just getting this fixed somewhere else. But I didn't trust anywhere else and just wanted to get this one thing done and so my mom called in and approached them in a more humane way. Yeah. So they came back really nicely and apologized for what had happened and told her that they would take care of the problem. AND, since they were sorry, they would do my skincare for free as service.
So that is why I could enjoy the day with the spa and all.
The next day, I went in and they tried to tell me that I was being sensitive. But bro. There def was something in my eye that I felt every time I blinked and so ultimately they decided to cut it again and pull out the internal that could be potentially irritating me. While they were at it, they also redid my other eye that had two lines in the inner corner (prob cause they messed up the first time). They put me to sleep and everything and I went through all that again I tell you smh.
BUT THEN after the surgery I felt something scratching my LEFT EYE now, idk what they did so I was super duper wuper stressed for a long time and actually could not function bc they said they had taken all that could potentially be bothering me out and that they was nothing else they could do and I was having these thoughts like what if no doctor in the world can fix this like what if I have to do another revision surgery and it won't even get fixed-- all these thoughts that satan was throwing at me that was incarcerating me inside myself and really just stressing me beyond control.
On top of that
My left eye was blurry (from normal post-operative complications) so I was really having a hard time. I complained to like everyone, esp my mom and people were prob getting tired but I was really really worried if you haven't gotten the hint yet. I was like this for a couple days until enough advice from my friends and especially mom and prayer and my personal will that I decided that I could not let this control my life and that I WOULD NOT STRESS ABOUT THIS ANY FURTHER because there is nothing I can do at this moment. I pushed satan away in Jesus name and hung onto God for assurance and power to control myself and stay above because He has already won.
And from then on
I felt so at peace. Despite my eye problem, I felt happy and able to enjoy life without the problem weighing me down. I honestly did not think I could escape from the worry and stress-- no matter how many people told me not to worry, that the bible says not to worry 365 times, that God will take care of it, that Korea has so much technology and skill, that everything will be okay, that time will heal, just to wait it out, I simply could not. I tried to do everything with my own power. I looked up which hospitals could take of this, what I should do, etc. But at one point I just laid everything down and looked only to God. It wasn't sudden. It took a couple hours? Half a day? A day? Not sure but it felt like forever but at one point I was able to let it all go-- my eye wasn't magically better, but I was able be better despite it. If not God, then this would not have been possible.
Oh BTW,
shout to Kayla for waiting for me at the hospital for like 5 hrs.. this includes the waiting time, the surgery time, and the skin care time that was the service..
-the skincare was them just popping ALL of my pimples it was terrible gah apparently there's a laser thing you have to do but I honestly just was like no thanks pls
Also shoutout to all my friends in America who listened to me rant and complain and just really encouraged me..I think God placed just the right people in my life although I lack a lot and don't know how to appreciate it all
I haven't personally met God yet. I've been a Christian for most of my life, have done mission, have experienced the Holy Spirit and bear fruits and have gifts of the Holy Spirit. However, I cannot say I have had a personal encounter with God himself. But today actually I met with someone (more on that later) who told me the encounter can be a one time experience in which the person is just completely flipped inside out but it can also be a gradual many experiences. I am looking forward to that sort of meeting with God soon but this experience I can truly say that God has helped me overcome.
Sometimes I think:
God is punishing me for getting plastic surgery. For altering the body that he made in his perfect image, the body that isn't even mine but God's holy temple. But I also think God is growing me. Making me into a more mature Christian. Rescuing me from perhaps even eviler (is that a word?) sin.
1. Growing me
- building me up to be able to be happy in unhappy situations. Before, I never understood how one could truly be happy when there is some problem going on. Like in history or wars or such you hear of how people are in devastating situations but yet they find happiness and peace..yeah I only heard stories but never have I ever really understood. Up until now I have never had any hardships that I had to overcome and be happy over. The pastor this past Sunday said this and although it was a general message, I pertained to me: she said God has only given you good until now. It's okay that there is something not good. Through this God showed me that it is indeed possible to prevail over unhappiness, and truly find refuge in God because honestly he has won it all already we don't have to worry. Like seriously.
2. Rescuing me?
-I think I was way to excited to come to Korea. I feel like if I didn't have this one thing to worry about, I would be playing like I was invincible. Living like I had 9 lives. Committing greater sins, thinking it's okay to sin because when will God ever punish me? Going out and spending lavishly, drinking too much, you know, enjoying the worldly things.
Right now the blurriness has gone away so I am definitely better. But about what I feel in my eyes, only time can tell. It's too early post surgery to decide for certain my condition, but I leave it in God's hands to heal and take care of everything.
So,
I have been able to enjoy life at a moderate and healthy pace since. Let me settle the living condition first though, since it has gotten a lot better:
-My cousin has finally given me her room so I have my personal space to myself which means:
no more snoring
sleeping/waking up when I want to
lots more space
-I figured out the shower so I can have hot water throughout my entire shower
-my aunt switched my electronic heating blanket pad thing (정기장판) to a hotter one so I'm not that cold, especially when I'm under the blanket
-my aunt gave me her really pretty padding jacket so I'm warm whenever I leave with that on
I think that wherever you go, whatever the condition is, you adapt.
The problem is that I am too fast to complain at the beginning during the process of adaption.
I am so thankful that I can stay here for free, that I can eat home food, and have the company when I want it, and privacy when I need it.
The best part though is:
My mom asked my aunt to find me a church to attend while I'm in Korea. So she prayed about it and one called 빛의 자녀들 교회 (children of the light church) was what came to mind. This church is a baptist church but it is very very 뜨거워 (uhhh hot? like fervent, God really works in there, there are gifts of the holy spirit given to majority)...
The pastor is a woman pastor but she met God so vividly in her 20's and she has a calling for bringing each and every person, especially children and adolescents to God. Like completely and fully. Her soul is open and she communicates openly with God every day. When she prays over people she sees wide open everything about that person, spiritually of course (not like little details like mind reading or whatever you may be thinking haha). Every newcomer, they hold onto and really work so that one soul is saved for sure and that he/she can help others. I went last Sunday and the service was very good. The message is good.
I thought to myself,
wow, this is the ideal church that I have been looking for. I am so excited for what God has in store. I have never experienced anything like this before. The newcomers were guided after the service prayed for and connected to people. So an unni named 서인 katalks me letting me know all the deets and events that I should go to and tomorrow there is a 성령충만 새신자 목장예배. It's a holy spirit experiencing? (translation is kinda difficult) but yeah for newcomers for each of their respective "cells" or like family group things. There apparently, obviously probably while everyone is praying loudly out loud, the pastor anoints and prayers over each individual and there gifts of the holy spirit just erupt and people encounter God. Anointing is really important in my opinion, especially on the head because when I received the gift of tongues it was right as the pastor placed his hands on my hand and prayed.
Things like this may cause non believers or christians who hold back a little to say that this is cult-like or not right, as they often do to pentecostal churches but really this is an upright church drenched with the holy spirit and led by God. It is on a totally different scale from my church back at home. Also, my entire church at home is about 200 members. Here, there are just 200 college students.
But tonight,
the unni wanted to have dinner with the vice pastor (man) for the college with me and Kayla. Kayla couldn't make it so it was just the three of us. We ate at a really good restaurant in Sinchon and then went to a cafe for dessert. We ate a mango waffle dessert thing that was good! and also a green tea latte that kinda made me feel sick afterward but anyway
At first we started off with just small talk cause you know we are strangers at this point. I honestly though the vice pastor was kinda antisocial lol and mean but as we progressed into the convo and started going deeper and deeper he was wonderful and we talked a long time about God and our walks all past present and future.
I really felt comfortable and enjoyed the night. I honestly think that there is reason that God sent me to Korea at this point in time and although we cannot know exactly what God has in mind, we can predict that he has something greater than we can imagine planned for us and I take this time in Korea to be one that he uses to transform me completely. I am beyond excited to immerse myself deep into that church and grow, experience, and change through the word, QTs, people my age who are going the same path, and leaders to guide me spiritually.
I am so so thankful for all the good and the bad in my life and just the fact that I am a child of God and He isn't letting me be, but disciplining me and watering me.
ANYWAY
Today I registered for classes.
I'm taking hopefully
1. Intensive Korean Language (There are 6 levels hopefully I'm in the upper latter)
2. North Korean Politics and Society
3. Modern Society and Psychology
4. Intro to Korean studies-- which is a course that outlines the history, religion, and culture; from early shamanism to Japanese colonialism to the modern Korean wave.
I still have two weeks until move in so I'll try to keep this updated!
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading!
But more importantly, thanks to myself right now from my future self because I think that rather than listing mere things that happened or things that I did, the feelings and thoughts I got from the experiences are where da real meat is. Later on when I look back on this I hope to have left a good account of my experiences.
P.S. I actually wrote this entire thing in one sitting so there may be errors and typos and things that do not make sense or things that are left out (bc like the disclaimer at the beginning said, truly I tell you, this cannot be a full description of everything although I did leave a lot hehe) or things that are overexplained butt one cannot be perfect.
Also it's 2:30am and I have to wake up early tomorrow to go get my stitches removed and hang with Kayla in Sinsadong/garosugil then go to church for the service previously mentioned so I should sleep now.
It feels weird to actually end this after writing so much but... until next time!!
-Hyunji
hi miss u ❤️
ReplyDeletehi i miss u too<3
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